Making Time

Time in and of itself is a man made construct in which to place limitations on that which we can accomplish in a set time frame. Usually a 24 hour period which defines a day. Although there are some of us who do not live life by the man made definitions of time, it still exists, especially in our work days, our day to day activities and time spent with our family and or loved ones.

Having said that, from someone who dislikes time and it’s constraints, there are certain things that we all need during the previously stated 24 hour time period. Need might be a strong word, but who and where we choose to give and make time. Things that are important on a daily basis if you will.

As it relates to these predetermined times frames I think as humans we need to look at those time constraints, whether we subscribe to them or not, and determine what is most important during these times. It is a given that having fun, laughing, and doing things we enjoy is a part of this. Activities that bring us joy and support our passion, or are therapeutic are most certainly a necessity.

Those who have yet to experience the exact limitation of time have a tendency to place how it is spent with activities, self preservation, and doing things from a selfish perspective. These things fill a temporary void that exists within all of us, but still a necessary part of existence. Those are things that bring temporary satisfaction, but quickly go away. Therein lies the need to do it again, but without consideration of another.

Those of us who have actually experienced the true limitations of time, and the finality that comes with it, tend to view time a bit different, not only time, but how it is spent. As hard as it is I wish all could experience the finality of time, and what comes after. Well, an altered perspective of time and how it is spent and dedicated. It’s a perspective that few experience at an early age and gives the ability to see it in a whole new light.

It begins with how me make time for not only ourselves, but others. It has a way of changing how and where we choose to dedicate our time. Yes dedication of time for ourselves is of utmost importance, but we begin to dedicate time to those who are important in our lives, like family and loved ones. We begin to place importance on making that time for those people, and not using all the time for our own selfish needs.

The importance of how our time is dedicated can really only be learned through experience. It can be told, it can be read, it can even be taught, but it’s value never becomes relevant until we have experienced the finality of time of another human being, especially a loved one. It’s only then when we realize the value of time spent.

It is only in this experience when we truly learn the value of actually making time for others and not ourselves. This is not a flaw of any human but something that has to be learned. I can only wish that I could teach all those I love the value of time spent.

May we all see what is going on around us and really consider the time we spend and how we spend it. It’s obvious that we never know when the finality of time will occur to someone you know or love. Be kind, be loving, and be grateful for every moment spent with those you love. More important, make and take the time to show them just how much they matter.

Namasté

Copyright 2020


Sudden Loss

One of my more recent submissions in a book was entitled “Why we Exist”. It was about the interactions that a friend and I had over the course of several years. It culminated in the eventual experience of him also suddenly losing his wife. I wrote about the impact our words can have on another human being, and how we may never know the effects our words can have on another.

I find today my heart breaking for him again as he has also suddenly lost his brother. I do not know the circumstances in which it happened, but it did. He is one of several people in the last few weeks that have lost a loved one or sibling, not necessarily caused by the current COVID-19 virus.

Although heart-wrenching it reminds to continue to be kind to those around us. Let our words come from a place of love instead of indifference or hate. Let us all use these as a lesson to treat each and every human we come into contact with compassion, acceptance, and love. We never know when it will be the last time they may hear our words.

No matter the case make sure if it is the last time, especially since we don’t know, that they are words of love and kindness. Being present in our interactions, and treating another like there is no tomorrow, can truly make all the difference in their world should they transition from being human to being pure spirit.

The difference is actually two-fold. One, we know that we will have no regrets as it relates to how we treated another human being, especially knowing that we will never have the opportunity to make a simple apology, or to right our wrongs. Secondly, you may have just provided them with the kind words they needed in order to leave in peace.

By doing so we are allowing that person to transition believing in the human being and the potential kindness that resides within us all, should we choose to acknowledge and use it. Something as simple as being completely present, instead of on our cell phones, and immersed in the interaction and the words spoken can have profound effects on another. It can provide them with hope for all of humanity.

So, with the COVID-19 affecting so many lives, may we all take this time to be just a little kinder, compassionate, and understanding of others, especially if perceived differently from us. We all come from the same place, and now is not a time for division.

Who knows, it just may well be the last thing we hear from someone before our own transition from earthly to spiritual beings. Those words that come from a place of love and kindness from another may just be the peace we need when we pass, giving us hope for humanity and that people have the potential to be loving, kind, and compassionate.

Use this time to think about how we treat others, and may we all learn from it, grow from it, and practice it.

© 2020

Standing Lunch

It has been said that couples should make time for a date night, I could not agree more. But I want to write about a standing lunch date. My wife and I have a standing lunch date every Monday. Why Monday? Well why not? I am of the opinion that Monday is the perfect day, despite what society and Facebook tells us about what a Monday is supposed to be like.

It starts the week off on the right foot. It starts us off on the right foot. We may end up eating lunch together many other days of the week, but Monday is a standing priority for both of us. No matter what is going on, barring any illnesses we make sure that we are available at some time during the day for lunch.

I think Monday also provides us with any opportunity to reflect and discuss anything over the weekend. Last time I looked in the mirror I was human who still makes mistakes. It can also provide a chance say anything we didn’t get a chance to because of a long weekend thereby making sure the week ahead is at least started on the right foot.

We have been picked on, laughed at, made fun of by random people we encounter. The beauty of it is, that we really don’t care what someone else thinks, we don’t do it for them, but for us. We make time together a priority, because often we just don’t know what the week ahead will bring.

You also have those people that become just a little more curious, when I/we say, sorry I cannot because I having a standing lunch date with my wife. Then when asked to alter it, my reply is simply, no I cannot because it is a priority. Still looking a bit puzzled they begin to ask why. I chose to make my family and my wife a priority in my life. And the deep and true meaning, at least for me is…

I don’t know for certain if that will ever be the last lunch date I get to have with my wife. None of us really ever know. Now as it relates to a lunch date versus a dinner date, we still have those, but those are different. Those tend to occur after a long day at work or play and sometimes it can be difficult to really put our best foot forward. Lunch gives us that chance.

As simple as it is, it shows a deeper level of love and care for another because, no matter what, we are making that time for one another. We can all get caught up in the rat race of life, but at the end of the day, when our spouses or significant others are willing to put everybody and everything aside for just an hour or two, well that speaks words that I cannot even write. Yet again, love is simply indescribable.

I enjoyed our short lunch today babe, see you tonight! I love you!

Welcome to the Shit Show!

I have to preface the title by saying I am not normally so verbal as it relates to some words, however, in this case it is warranted. I said something today in the course of a seemingly innocent but honest interaction. We were speaking of the woes of others, when it came to me, we all have our own shit show, it just depends on the size of the tent.

Our tents are varied in size, sometimes weekly, daily, and even hourly. I find this analogy actually really cool. When our tents are open to the public, we can allow all types of characters in as well as out. One could think of characters as energies as well, both positive and negative. We do have a choice when it comes to the size of our shit show. Allow me elaborate.

We all have a circus in town that plays around in our heads and our hearts. The degree to which we allow things to get to the point of a full blown “greatest shit show on earth”, depends on what we let in and out of our tents. Most tents I know of come with a zipper, one in which we have the ability to let in or out a whole lot of air, or just a little. I am in no way saying that we should be guarded all the time, or wide open all the time. But we should have the presence of mind to see when we need to examine who and what energy we let in.

I love sincere and genuine conversations, and I look for them. To do this requires some openness about our own stuff, good and bad. There are times when another person wants to invite you into what would be the makings of the greatest shit show on earth, that’s when we should have some awareness to zip up our tents a little. That is when we need to decide what energy we can absorb or more importantly, are willing to absorb.

When we absorb too much negative energy, this can have a huge negative impact on the remainder of ones day. Conversely when we see that positive energy come our way, we should be open to allowing that energy in. After all, we can choose the course of our day. We can have a nice little carnival or a full blown circus. Either way the analogy of energy still works. Nice little carnivals are typically exciting, fun, light and airy, while the circus has excitement, fear, doubt, lions, tigers and clowns. I know I don’t want a bunch of clowns in my tent.

So as we go about our daily lives, look for those energies you are drawn to, and then invite them in. See how it changes our mindset or our day. And when we are met with those energies we do not desire, zip up the tent, but be compassionate. Understand they may not know what they are doing, but are simply trying to express something. Maybe they have no one to talk to, or maybe they talk to everybody, either way, may we be understanding of their plight and know when to zip up our tent.

Thank you Kim, for this brief but extremely thought provoking interaction today. I needed it.

Copyright 2019

The Fragility of Life

I am compelled to write about this subject because there are things that happen around us that remind us of just how fragile life can be. I think it must be said that these reminders vary from the simple day to day things to the complexities of death. I love to write from a place of sharing some wisdom, but I think its equally important to write about my humanness as well. I am no better or worse than the next. I learn lessons, I make mistakes, but I do try to learn from them and be a better human in the process.

These things are placed before us to remind us of the importance of presence in our daily lives. I mean being fully present in those simple daily interactions we take for granted. Are we really giving someone our full attention? Are we really doing our best to show those we say we love that we do in fact really love them?

These sometimes hard reminders, are there to remind us of the above. How can we continue to grow and evolve unless we open our eyes wide enough to learn these little hard lessons that come our way? Yes they are hard, some more so than others. We have to be receptive enough, and also willing enough, to see them for what they are…teaching and guiding moments. God they are hard and sometimes they hurt. When they do hurt is when growth occurs. This is our humanness at work.

I have to remind myself that its OK to be human, its OK to make mistakes, its OK to have to look in the mirror and see our flaws. We are all flawed. So today, I see my flaws, I see where I need to do better, I need to love better, I need to love more, I need to be more grateful for those simple little moments in which I have an opportunity, an opportunity to show someone that I care, and more importantly, that they matter. I also see kindness and willingness in the mirror. It is just as important to see the good as it is the bad. Today I see…

Namaste

Copyright 2019

Allowing…

Tonight I am drawn to write about allowing. The word allow indicates that one is taking an action to do something. To me this word holds so much power in our lives. It in and of itself can bring about the most negative and the most life changing and profound changes in any one persons life.

I can only speak from my own limited personal experience and say all of the above has occurred in my life. Many think that life itself happens TO us, when in fact life is nothing more than our reactions to things happening around us. The key is how we allow ourselves to interact with life and the world around us.

We can allow ourselves to be all consumed of the affairs of others, (and I mean the lives of others). We can give away our power to another when we allow them to consume us with thoughts of envy, of hate, of division. We are making a choice here by allowing another to rent space in our minds and hearts.

When we sit back and simply allow people to be who they are and realize that the battles they fight are never about me or you, but about themselves. We can simply acknowledge it and allow them to be who they are and not allow another to ultimately control our thoughts, wishes and desires. This is, in my humble opinion, much easier said than done. I’m human and make this mistake as well.

When we can allow for the Universe to unfold in front of us what it sees fit is where some of the most beautiful and miraculous things happen. Again they don’t happen to us but around us. This act takes a great deal of courage and faith in knowing that all will be well, no matter what.

When we can just allow life to unfold instead of living in the illusion that we have complete control is one of the most freeing feelings there is. Make no mistake, we do have the power to alter our paths and creating space for things to occur in which to bring a desired result. But we can never fully control the ultimate outcome.

So when we allow, allow life, we can live in the most peaceful of ways. Knowing that all will be well, and we are allowing our journey to literally unfold and reveal itself right before our very eyes.

Copyright 2019

Our gifts

Our gifts

OCTOBER 2, 2019 / KENNETH LAWS II / 0 COMMENTS

Tonight, I have been inspired to write about gifts, to be more specific, the gifts we have either received or become aware of. In my limited personal experience, it has been the gift I have become aware of. My gift is the gift of writing.

I did not become aware of this gift until 5 years ago when a series of life altering events occurred in my life. It was then when I began to evaluate what happened in my life and began to journal about those events. After a short period of time I began to realize that I had been given a gift of writing, one in which I had not become aware of until that very moment.

I began to write of love and the wisdom I had gained from life experiences. I came to realize that what I was putting on paper, or typing, was beyond my years. It was then, and only then, when I realized that I had something to give, something to share. It has now become my purpose to share with any and all who will listen the importance of love and acceptance for all, no matter what their personal beliefs are.

I had been bestowed a gift of sharing my life’s experiences with all who would listen as it relates to love and oneness. I feel the need to write about love, simply because it is the opposite of hate, something we have too much of today. I write of oneness simply because we have so much division in our daily lives portrayed upon us today.

Hate and division will completely destroy a nation, if not the whole world as we know it. I simply do not understand why we must take sides with every action that is placed before us by our people and our governments. I know in my heart that any division created within a country makes the people of that country more reliant on the government, or those that rule the nation.

I think we have all heard the phrase” a divided country we will fall and united we will stand”. I am of the belief that all people as a whole are starting to see the truth that lies before them, we all come from the same place, the same people. If we were to look at it from a biblical standpoint, we ALL came from Adam and Eve.

I am not stating that I simply subscribe to Christianity as a whole, but I do subscribe to Humanity, and loving-kindness. If we could only open our eyes just a little wider and understand that all religious beliefs are derived from the same principle of nothing other than love. In the end, they all teach love, unity, oneness and kindness.

As a human race, non-secular, we can succeed in moving past our differences, and move towards a more unified body as a whole. This can be very hard to conceive when we rely on TV and social media as our only outlet for news. The media will give to you what they want you to believe, it has been proven time and time again. Social media has been able to tap into your likes and dislikes and continue to place in front of you that which you subscribe to and allows for no other opinion other than that which you believe.

I will quote something I heard today, “That which you focus on will be your life”. In other words, if you continue to focus on lack and need, you will always lack and need. If you continue to focus on division, you will always be divided, seeing only black and white, so to speak. There is no need to create animosity or differences among people of different backgrounds or religions or opinions for that matter, we should simply seek the similarities that we all have. We all, and this is an assumption, seek to live a happy, peaceful, and rewarding life.

This in and of itself can take up an entire page, so I will keep this limited. It all depends on our definitions of happy, peaceful and rewarding life. I do know that we can all agree on basic principles of living which include living in a peaceful environment, happy without seeing others in pain or suffering, and rewarding in knowing that we are giving back to humanity in some fashion. Happy, well that depends on what each one of us defines as “Happy”. I can say that when I can experience all of the above then I am happy.

I am of the belief that we can all achieve this by seeking the similarities we have instead of the differences. I go back to that which we focus on, when we seek nothing but differences, we will always see them. When we look for similarities in humankind, we will always see them. All it takes is to open our eyes a little bit wider to see that we all have a common goal; to live in peace and happiness.

I will end by saying that I cannot name a single person who seeks happiness by living in a divided land full of war and poverty, it simply cannot exist. I cannot name a person who seeks peace by living in a divided land, it simply cannot exist.

When we ultimately think that we are better than another human being, we are not seeking peace, we are seeking control. When we think that money will buy all the happiness we can stand, ask those who are genuinely happy without it. May we find that it all exists within the simplicity of our daily lives. That is, in my limited personal experience, where ultimate peace from within lies.

Namaste~ my friends

The Amazing Mind

I sit today and wonder at how our minds and subconscious try and tell us things about ourselves that need to be addressed. My particular mind has been on overtime as of late and decided to take a rest yesterday. Funny thing, it happens about 2 days before a full moon. What I have found is that it ONLY happens when I am more in tune, more awake, more aware, and overall consciously living.

In my opinion the mind is connected to a conscious universe that will put in place that which we think into it. As a direct result the mind can also tell us things that we need to know, and some we don’t. These can be sometimes hard to see or recognize and can come in many forms. This is where being awake enough to recognize it and do something about it comes into play. First it must be considered if it really does have some significant value. We, dare I say, ALWAYS, have two choices…to discard it, or to recognize it and address it. If we find that is has value then, and only then can we address it.

I know I may seem a bit vague here, but these things really come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, thoughts, people, dreams, deja vu moments. As far as addressing whatever it may be, that is solely up to us if we want to continue to grow. Many of the things placed before us are for that very reason, growth. It may be mental, physical, or spiritual. I might add that growth is not always a pleasant thing. In fact, in most cases, there is some pain associated with it, hence the phrase “growing pains”. Our minds, subconsciously and otherwise, try to get us to see certain things it feels it needs to continue to evolve.

We rarely remain in a constant state, other than the constant state of flux. I am of the opinion that our minds really do feed the soul. The soul could be considered as the ultimate recipient of the growth involved. I always say the only constant in life is that of change.

Copyright 2019

Dreams

I am one who thinks that our dreams have meaning, but not all of them. There are ones that can be very profound and speak to you in ways that your awakened mind cannot. I think there are also dreams that can be interpreted or misinterpreted. I do believe it depends on the website you are visiting. I speak of this particular subject because sometimes dreams are easy to read into. I think they can be made out to be whatever our imagination and or mood is at the time. And when overthought about it, it can cloud our hearts and our minds. I would like to share two examples.

The first real and profound dream I had came about two and a half years after my fiance (Tara) passed away. Funny thing was, that I had not had any of her except this. I had just bought a new pair of sneakers, which I normally will wear them until they wear out, but I was overdue.

I woke up in the middle of the night to open my eyes to what I would call a moving blackness that seemed to swirl around the room. It didn’t seem to bother me so I went back to sleep. It seems as though I feel asleep quickly and began my short dream. Tara was standing near the bed looking at my new shoes. It was then that she looked at me and said you need to get some new shoes. My reply was that I just got new shoes. She then said in a stern voice, No! You need to get a new pair of shoes and use them. Then she left.

When I awoke in the morning, I knew exactly what she was talking about. She was telling me to move forward. I was in a relationship at the time with my now wife, but I had become reluctant to give myself fully. To me this was a clear sign that I needed to move forward and allow myself to go through the process. To me it was profound and had meaning.

A second dream was one that I had of a mentor of mine. He had been very ill and placed on life support. At the families request they asked for no visitors. The night before I found out he was on life support, he came to me in a dream. We were on a golf course and he was walking away from me up the fairway. He turned to me, tipped his hat, and said, “see you around old buddy”. He passed away 3 days later.

This is profound to me because he did something that I was unable to do, and that was to say goodbye. When I awoke the next morning is when I began to place phone calls to see how he was doing. It wasn’t until then that I knew he was on life support. Something I will never forget and I know I will see him again one day.

Copyright 2019

Inspired by the Heart

Today I was inspired to write about the heart, or my heart more specifically. The heart in general can such a touchy subject matter, often wavering between the physical and the non-physical. I reference my heart today, as well as my soul in the non-physical form.. Funny thing with hearts, they can be so fragile, yet so resilient.

My heart tends to remain happy. My heart is so grateful that it gets to share this journey of life with my best friend, my companion, my lover, and dare I say my soul mate.

Souls, this is what really leads my topic today. I think souls seek out to find balance in the Universe, meaning they seek out other souls unlike them. Most would probably disagree with the above but think about it for a moment…If our heart and souls sought out something similar or the same it never presents a challenge. No challenge equals no growth.

Think about it like this, if you consistently surround yourself with people who think, act, and believe exactly as you do, there is nothing there to challenge our intellect. I believe most surround themselves with sameness because its comfortable. This is where the mundane and the ordinary lye. It is outside of this comfort zone where real growth and evolution happen. If there were never any questions then how can there possibly be any growth? Both mentally and spiritually? I believe our souls, when we really listen to them do the same thing. They have to evolve and grow. It does not mean your chosen soul has to be challenging in a negative way, although it can be at times. But it challenges who we think we should be. When our souls lead us to who we really are and who we are to become.

I have been blessed to have found the one soul that is, in my opinion, the yin to my yang. Does it meant that everything is always easy, no! Go back to the thought of comfortable. Change and growth lies in the areas of discomfort, which most humans cannot stand, unless they are willing to follow their heart and soul to the one that will promote this very growth and evolution it seeks. It just so happens that I love and care for this soul so very deeply, and as a direct result I hold her heart ever so gently, yet firmly in my hands. Caring for it always, how it feels and responds and grows with mine.

This heart and soul belongs to my wife Suzann. Funny how people can be so very similar and yet so very different. It is actually in the differences where the balance lies. I know this can be hard to comprehend but if you have two people on the same side of a see-saw, its just going to stay there. But, one on each end balances it out, although it may wax and wane, it becomes balanced. I call this the spice of our life. It makes life interesting, fun, different and yes sometimes challenging. I have to remind myself sometimes it is here where growth is. It, my soul, knows what it needs, I just have to make sure that I always continue to listen and follow it. These differences are not meant to change or sway one another to our own opinions, they are simply there for continued growth and evolution. In my limited personal experience it is in the growth where life continues to be amazing, amazingly different, amazingly fun, and amazingly challenging. I Love you babe, always you, only you!

Copyright 2019

Humanness

Those of us who are on some semblance of a spiritual path in the attempt to find either meaning, purpose, or simply to be open to the lessons from the mistakes along the way, these are my thoughts on humanness, or more accurately described, those things we do and think that go against what we feel we should be thinking.

Fact of the matter is that in our desperate attempts at the above, we will always fall short, be less than perfect. It is here that lies our humanness. I would define it as thinking or speaking anything other than what we feel we should be. It is in accepting this part of our brains that venture outside the realms in which we think we should exist.

It is also in this acceptance where we must have compassion for ourselves in thinking, acting, and sometimes reacting to lifes little lessons and tests that come our way. The most important thing we can do is have an awareness when these do occur. The awareness gives us the opportunity to address it, change it, and do it better next time.

Spending the time beating ourselves up over what ultimately are the trivialities of life is futile. Nothing is learned here. TBC…

Copyright 2019

Change

Could not fall back to sleep this morning. So I decided to do some writing instead. As of late I am undergoing an internal process of change, one that has become painful. Funny how we seem to think that we have completely dealt with our own issues from the past. I am in no way saying that I need to live in it, however, to be completely free of any “baggage” that has remained, it must be acknowledged, addressed, and dealt with.

The word change is an oxymoron. Change by the very definition is a transformation or transition from one state, condition, or phase to another: the change of seasons. Yet change is the only thing that remains constant. It is one of the very few reliable constants we experience every day of our lives. Literally, everything will change, whether we like it or not. Most will try to control the change that occurs so it is always to our liking and specifications. Which is the ego running our lives. This will always lead to unhappiness and discontent, feeling unfulfilled with our lives.

I am not one of those people who can just let life pass me by without trying to be the best person I can be, or should I say at least trying to be better than I was the day before. Being that, to me, means simply being authentic and genuine. It is during these times when I feel most at peace with myself and everyone around me. As I stated in an earlier post it seems to me that I wax and wane from time to time. I think its human nature to do so. I also believe that its the Universes way of keeping us in check. After all, it will continue to place in front of you that which you have yet to learn, and will continue to do so until you do. We always seem to wonder why we continue to recreate experiences from the past…this is why. It will continue until we finally get it, and make a conscious choice to learn from it, and grow into our true selves.

With this process I think it must be said that there is and has to be a great amount of acceptance for those in our lives. I mean accepting all people for exactly where they are. This is not directed towards anyone in particular, but simply accepting everyone and how they choose to live and experience life. With this comes acceptance of our own selves and our humanness first and foremost. How can we accept another if we cannot accept ourselves? I am one who can be particularly hard on myself, which didn’t just happen over night. I too must accept myself exactly where I am, and trust in the Universe to guide me wherever it sees fit. I must allow, and I stress the word allow, this to happen, instead of forcing life. Life becomes so much more difficult, unfulfilling, and frustrating when we constantly force things, especially as it relates to our own personal growth.

I do not necessarily believe in spending my entire life to find, or define my lifes purpose. I do think however that we are guided to do certain things to contribute to the well being of not only ourselves, but humanity as a whole. We simply have to open our eyes enough and be willing to take on the challenge. Yes there are those who have a “calling” so to speak, but I do feel that has to eventually change to some degree as we never stay exactly the same. We are constantly growing and evolving, and with our experiences comes change. If we choose to close the doors placed before us, we then become stagnant in our ever evolving growth process. Those who choose this way of life, in my opinion, will always be unhappy and unfulfilled. Seeking a better life, happier life, doing the same thing they have always done without growing and learning will always produce the same results. This would be the Universe, yet again, continuing to place in front of you that which you have yet to learn.

Copyright 2019

The Importance of Silence

I have come to understand the importance of silence, not only while alone, but also with another, in my case my wife. I am a thinker, an analyzer, an observer, basically speaking I sometimes mistake the silence for there being something wrong. At least that what my overactive brain tells me. It is in these moments when I must shut my brain off and open my heart.

When I am active in my head I tend to assume that there must be something wrong. That in turn leads to questions, and the answers to those questions are never fully satisfied in the moments of silence. When I just listen to the silence with my heart, it in turn has no questions, no judgement, no assumptions. It is in these moments of quiet with my heart open that I must respect the other persons wishes to do so. Their reasons are varied, however, when it is stated to just be, just be in silence, and when I respect her wishes, that is when I feel closest at that moment with my wife. There are times when that is the only way to just slow down while in the presence of another. Sitting closely, holding hands, and just being. Being present without words spoken.

This is something that I actually struggle with. I often have questions to which I just need the answers to. Sometimes the questions are trivial, sometimes not. I am learning that silence, and I mean the comfortable type, is just ok. Where I need to be a bit more understanding is when another has had an extremely long week, talking all week, and listening to another persons woes, just does not feel like talking, or answering lots of questions for that matter.

On the other hand, when I genuinely respect the silence, it is reciprocated in many other ways. Sitting together even closer, holding each other, with the occasional gentle kiss with an even deeper loving look into my eyes. I have found that there is nothing quite like it. I have come to the realization that the deepest connection between two people happens when there are no words used at all.

I chose to write about my humanness, because I am far from perfect. One thing I do try and do is learn from these little lessons in life that teach me to be a better listener, a better husband, and a better friend. When I fail to recognize my faults and flaws, and more importantly, own them, then I have become unteachable. I must always be willing to take a look in the mirror, and remain teachable.

So what did I really learn from all this? Silence and quiet are just as important as communication. Words can tend to cloud our feelings and emotions, if not alter them all together. It is in this silence where the most tender of moments can be felt, experienced, and cherished with the heart. Tonight I am grateful for the moments of silence uncomplicated with words.

Copyright 2019

A look back…

I was recently asked to look back at my life over the last few years. Something I don’t particularly like to do, but need to do none the less. Upon reflection of this it became somewhat painful, almost in a way of reliving whatever it was that I was talking about.

I have come to understand why this may be necessary to do from time to time. Not in a way of visiting it just to tell a story, but in a way of learning more about myself, as well as what did I learn from it? In this particular case pain is a necessary part of our human growth and evolution. We must know and recognize the pain in order to know and recognize joy, and inner peace.

Copyright 2019

If I knew I was going to die soon, what would I do? How would I feel? How would I live?

I’ve pondered this since learning of people in my life who have been given a very finite time in which they will live. It came flooding in as I was laying in bed last night.

Morbid topic, I know, but I think it must be considered when we have a choice to really live. Truth is we don’t know when we will cease to exist on this human earthly plane. It could be 6 minutes, 6 days, or 60 years. So why is it that people choose not to live life fully? Fully present? Fully aware? Fully awake? Why do we as humans choose anything less? I think it stems from fear.

I think many have a fear of the unknown, fear of letting go, a genuine fear of not being able to control what comes in and out of our lives, despite our most valiant attempts. We must control our lives so that we can control the outcome. Ha! Such bullshit! Are we that egotistical to actually think we can control everything?

It has been in my limited personal experience that life, living, gives back what we put into it. So…back to the original question, what would I do? I guess that would all depend on what I perceive would bring me inner peace and happiness. If I believe that I am the soul creator of my own inner peace, happiness, and real joy, then I know there is no external force, thing, experience, or activity that could possibly takes its place. On the contrary, if I sought happiness from others, from people, from experiences then I would have to say that I would be totally wreckless in seeking that which I thought would bring me happiness. Which of course is only temporary. I would do it selfishly, for my own gain.

I am grateful to not be that way at all. So…what would I do? I would make sure to show those around me unconditional love. I would teach any and all willing to listen what it really means to live and love without limits. We are all teachers and students at various points in our lives. Old age, in my opinion, does not qualify a person to be a teacher, for they may still have much to learn. Experiences don’t necessarily qualify a person either. Wisdom does come from experiences, life, mistakes, being human…but wisdom in which to teach, to share, comes from learning from all those things put before us in our lives. All placed before each and every one of us to make us better people, kinder people, more compassionate people, more loving people. If we could all just open our eyes wide enough to see the lessons in everything.

Imagine if a very selfish person who was filled with hate, division, and negativity actually got a taste of what it feels like to live a life of bliss and a life of joy. Whether or not they actually do some work and allow it is irrelevant at this point. But what if they could get a glimpse of it, feel it for just a day? Imagine the impact this could have on their life. I think this begs to ask, how can we take someone from their own personal hell, to a life of bliss? The simple answer, one moment at a time. Being absolutely present in it, being fully present in our interactions. Treating that moment and each one thereafter as if it was your last.

Why is it that something so simple can be so complex? Many are busy trying to control the outcomes of there lives. Shaping and molding it so that the ending fits the one living in their head. Yes our lives are malleable to a certain extent. And yes I believe we can attract more positive in our lives with right motive, right thought, and right action. But we must give up the illusion that we are in total control in our lives. Living this way will always create fear and anxiety, and ultimately disappointment. When we have these expectations of how our lives should be, we will always be disappointed and let down. Nothing will ever be enough.

We as humans tend to live our lives with the age old question, whats next? Truth be known there is no whats next. This only exists in our minds, going from one thing to the next without much thought, without slowing down enough to actually be present in that which we are doing this very moment. Back to why is this so complex? Our minds/egos use activities to fulfill what it perceives to be happiness. The sad reality of this is that it is only temporary. Then once the mind becomes bored and no longer fulfilled, its on to the next thing on its agenda. All of this is but a mere illusion the mind plays on us in order to create the outcome of our lives. To create yet another illusion of living and being successful.

In my opinion the success of our lives lies in our day to day, moment to moment thoughts, actions, and interactions. The idea of “the american dream” has been created to imprison each and every one of us to work and slave ourselves to death so that we can attain the american dream. When we fall prey to this we create our own prison. We have sentenced ourselves to working our lives away just to keep all the things that make up the american dream. Something most of us were taught as children. You need to have this to be successful in life. So as a result, success, happiness, and joy were instilled in us very early on as a comparison to everyone else, or as we were told how it should be. In case you haven’t figured this out, this is all an illusion. Our happiness, success, and joy should never be compared with another, nor established by another.

In the end, to quote a Tim McGraw song, we should all “live like we were dying”. This is in no way an excuse for bad or harmful behavior, but simply as way to be, a way to live. It is the only way in which to grow, to love, to be kind, and compassionate towards others. And ultimately live with no judgment, and most importantly, live a life free of fear. So forgive yourself for your past mistakes, learn from them. They were all placed there by design to help us become better human beings. Forget the future, that’s where the fear lies. There is no future, all we really have is right now.

Copyright 2019

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