Author: Kenneth Laws II

Looking vs Wanting

Amidst the pandemic of COVID-19 many of us are forced to shelter in place, forced to close business, and/or self quarantine. I can say from personal experience with all of the above that it can be quite challenging despite your particular personality.

We all have our own individual needs for time to ourselves as well as with our loved ones. When we are forced to to something out of the norm it can be so easy to find all that’s wrong with the situation, be it work or relationships. Between the news and social media it’s so easy to get caught up in the downside of what we have been forced to do. When this becomes the case we start looking for all that’s wrong with everything and everyone around us, especially those we live with.

We begin to find fault with everything around us. I can say “we” because I am just a guilty. I like to admit my humanness because I am superior to no one, and like to share learning experiences along the journey of life. So yes I am guilty for learning something through all of this. When we constantly look for things to be wrong or not to our own liking we will ALWAYS find it, no matter who or what it is.

Wanting something takes on a whole different persona when it becomes our focus. Think of it as intention or manifestation. The more attention something is given the more it becomes our reality. So back to relationships and being forced to shelter in place or loss of a job, the easiest thing to do is look for all that’s wrong. It becomes a challenge to want to see the right in what stands before us.

It’s easy to find fault, but I have learned that we have to WANT to see the good, be it qualities, actions, or otherwise. When we are forced into confinement we must, or at minimum, I must want to find the good. Go back to intention or manifestation, that which we focus on becomes our reality, by focusing on the good, and more importantly, wanting to see the good especially in another, the more we see, the more it becomes our reality.

May we all want to find the good in everyone and everything around us. It all starts on an individual level. From there we touch those around us and they touch those around them. It doesn’t take long to reach massive amounts of people.

Namasté

Copyright 2020

Making Time

Time in and of itself is a man made construct in which to place limitations on that which we can accomplish in a set time frame. Usually a 24 hour period which defines a day. Although there are some of us who do not live life by the man made definitions of time, it still exists, especially in our work days, our day to day activities and time spent with our family and or loved ones.

Having said that, from someone who dislikes time and it’s constraints, there are certain things that we all need during the previously stated 24 hour time period. Need might be a strong word, but who and where we choose to give and make time. Things that are important on a daily basis if you will.

As it relates to these predetermined times frames I think as humans we need to look at those time constraints, whether we subscribe to them or not, and determine what is most important during these times. It is a given that having fun, laughing, and doing things we enjoy is a part of this. Activities that bring us joy and support our passion, or are therapeutic are most certainly a necessity.

Those who have yet to experience the exact limitation of time have a tendency to place how it is spent with activities, self preservation, and doing things from a selfish perspective. These things fill a temporary void that exists within all of us, but still a necessary part of existence. Those are things that bring temporary satisfaction, but quickly go away. Therein lies the need to do it again, but without consideration of another.

Those of us who have actually experienced the true limitations of time, and the finality that comes with it, tend to view time a bit different, not only time, but how it is spent. As hard as it is I wish all could experience the finality of time, and what comes after. Well, an altered perspective of time and how it is spent and dedicated. It’s a perspective that few experience at an early age and gives the ability to see it in a whole new light.

It begins with how me make time for not only ourselves, but others. It has a way of changing how and where we choose to dedicate our time. Yes dedication of time for ourselves is of utmost importance, but we begin to dedicate time to those who are important in our lives, like family and loved ones. We begin to place importance on making that time for those people, and not using all the time for our own selfish needs.

The importance of how our time is dedicated can really only be learned through experience. It can be told, it can be read, it can even be taught, but it’s value never becomes relevant until we have experienced the finality of time of another human being, especially a loved one. It’s only then when we realize the value of time spent.

It is only in this experience when we truly learn the value of actually making time for others and not ourselves. This is not a flaw of any human but something that has to be learned. I can only wish that I could teach all those I love the value of time spent.

May we all see what is going on around us and really consider the time we spend and how we spend it. It’s obvious that we never know when the finality of time will occur to someone you know or love. Be kind, be loving, and be grateful for every moment spent with those you love. More important, make and take the time to show them just how much they matter.

Namasté

Copyright 2020


Sudden Loss

One of my more recent submissions in a book was entitled “Why we Exist”. It was about the interactions that a friend and I had over the course of several years. It culminated in the eventual experience of him also suddenly losing his wife. I wrote about the impact our words can have on another human being, and how we may never know the effects our words can have on another.

I find today my heart breaking for him again as he has also suddenly lost his brother. I do not know the circumstances in which it happened, but it did. He is one of several people in the last few weeks that have lost a loved one or sibling, not necessarily caused by the current COVID-19 virus.

Although heart-wrenching it reminds to continue to be kind to those around us. Let our words come from a place of love instead of indifference or hate. Let us all use these as a lesson to treat each and every human we come into contact with compassion, acceptance, and love. We never know when it will be the last time they may hear our words.

No matter the case make sure if it is the last time, especially since we don’t know, that they are words of love and kindness. Being present in our interactions, and treating another like there is no tomorrow, can truly make all the difference in their world should they transition from being human to being pure spirit.

The difference is actually two-fold. One, we know that we will have no regrets as it relates to how we treated another human being, especially knowing that we will never have the opportunity to make a simple apology, or to right our wrongs. Secondly, you may have just provided them with the kind words they needed in order to leave in peace.

By doing so we are allowing that person to transition believing in the human being and the potential kindness that resides within us all, should we choose to acknowledge and use it. Something as simple as being completely present, instead of on our cell phones, and immersed in the interaction and the words spoken can have profound effects on another. It can provide them with hope for all of humanity.

So, with the COVID-19 affecting so many lives, may we all take this time to be just a little kinder, compassionate, and understanding of others, especially if perceived differently from us. We all come from the same place, and now is not a time for division.

Who knows, it just may well be the last thing we hear from someone before our own transition from earthly to spiritual beings. Those words that come from a place of love and kindness from another may just be the peace we need when we pass, giving us hope for humanity and that people have the potential to be loving, kind, and compassionate.

Use this time to think about how we treat others, and may we all learn from it, grow from it, and practice it.

© 2020

Welcome to the Shit Show!

I have to preface the title by saying I am not normally so verbal as it relates to some words, however, in this case it is warranted. I said something today in the course of a seemingly innocent but honest interaction. We were speaking of the woes of others, when it came to me, we all have our own shit show, it just depends on the size of the tent.

Our tents are varied in size, sometimes weekly, daily, and even hourly. I find this analogy actually really cool. When our tents are open to the public, we can allow all types of characters in as well as out. One could think of characters as energies as well, both positive and negative. We do have a choice when it comes to the size of our shit show. Allow me elaborate.

We all have a circus in town that plays around in our heads and our hearts. The degree to which we allow things to get to the point of a full blown “greatest shit show on earth”, depends on what we let in and out of our tents. Most tents I know of come with a zipper, one in which we have the ability to let in or out a whole lot of air, or just a little. I am in no way saying that we should be guarded all the time, or wide open all the time. But we should have the presence of mind to see when we need to examine who and what energy we let in.

I love sincere and genuine conversations, and I look for them. To do this requires some openness about our own stuff, good and bad. There are times when another person wants to invite you into what would be the makings of the greatest shit show on earth, that’s when we should have some awareness to zip up our tents a little. That is when we need to decide what energy we can absorb or more importantly, are willing to absorb.

When we absorb too much negative energy, this can have a huge negative impact on the remainder of ones day. Conversely when we see that positive energy come our way, we should be open to allowing that energy in. After all, we can choose the course of our day. We can have a nice little carnival or a full blown circus. Either way the analogy of energy still works. Nice little carnivals are typically exciting, fun, light and airy, while the circus has excitement, fear, doubt, lions, tigers and clowns. I know I don’t want a bunch of clowns in my tent.

So as we go about our daily lives, look for those energies you are drawn to, and then invite them in. See how it changes our mindset or our day. And when we are met with those energies we do not desire, zip up the tent, but be compassionate. Understand they may not know what they are doing, but are simply trying to express something. Maybe they have no one to talk to, or maybe they talk to everybody, either way, may we be understanding of their plight and know when to zip up our tent.

Thank you Kim, for this brief but extremely thought provoking interaction today. I needed it.

Copyright 2019

The Fragility of Life

I am compelled to write about this subject because there are things that happen around us that remind us of just how fragile life can be. I think it must be said that these reminders vary from the simple day to day things to the complexities of death. I love to write from a place of sharing some wisdom, but I think its equally important to write about my humanness as well. I am no better or worse than the next. I learn lessons, I make mistakes, but I do try to learn from them and be a better human in the process.

These things are placed before us to remind us of the importance of presence in our daily lives. I mean being fully present in those simple daily interactions we take for granted. Are we really giving someone our full attention? Are we really doing our best to show those we say we love that we do in fact really love them?

These sometimes hard reminders, are there to remind us of the above. How can we continue to grow and evolve unless we open our eyes wide enough to learn these little hard lessons that come our way? Yes they are hard, some more so than others. We have to be receptive enough, and also willing enough, to see them for what they are…teaching and guiding moments. God they are hard and sometimes they hurt. When they do hurt is when growth occurs. This is our humanness at work.

I have to remind myself that its OK to be human, its OK to make mistakes, its OK to have to look in the mirror and see our flaws. We are all flawed. So today, I see my flaws, I see where I need to do better, I need to love better, I need to love more, I need to be more grateful for those simple little moments in which I have an opportunity, an opportunity to show someone that I care, and more importantly, that they matter. I also see kindness and willingness in the mirror. It is just as important to see the good as it is the bad. Today I see…

Namaste

Copyright 2019

Allowing…

Tonight I am drawn to write about allowing. The word allow indicates that one is taking an action to do something. To me this word holds so much power in our lives. It in and of itself can bring about the most negative and the most life changing and profound changes in any one persons life.

I can only speak from my own limited personal experience and say all of the above has occurred in my life. Many think that life itself happens TO us, when in fact life is nothing more than our reactions to things happening around us. The key is how we allow ourselves to interact with life and the world around us.

We can allow ourselves to be all consumed of the affairs of others, (and I mean the lives of others). We can give away our power to another when we allow them to consume us with thoughts of envy, of hate, of division. We are making a choice here by allowing another to rent space in our minds and hearts.

When we sit back and simply allow people to be who they are and realize that the battles they fight are never about me or you, but about themselves. We can simply acknowledge it and allow them to be who they are and not allow another to ultimately control our thoughts, wishes and desires. This is, in my humble opinion, much easier said than done. I’m human and make this mistake as well.

When we can allow for the Universe to unfold in front of us what it sees fit is where some of the most beautiful and miraculous things happen. Again they don’t happen to us but around us. This act takes a great deal of courage and faith in knowing that all will be well, no matter what.

When we can just allow life to unfold instead of living in the illusion that we have complete control is one of the most freeing feelings there is. Make no mistake, we do have the power to alter our paths and creating space for things to occur in which to bring a desired result. But we can never fully control the ultimate outcome.

So when we allow, allow life, we can live in the most peaceful of ways. Knowing that all will be well, and we are allowing our journey to literally unfold and reveal itself right before our very eyes.

Copyright 2019

Our gifts

Our gifts

OCTOBER 2, 2019 / KENNETH LAWS II / 0 COMMENTS

Tonight, I have been inspired to write about gifts, to be more specific, the gifts we have either received or become aware of. In my limited personal experience, it has been the gift I have become aware of. My gift is the gift of writing.

I did not become aware of this gift until 5 years ago when a series of life altering events occurred in my life. It was then when I began to evaluate what happened in my life and began to journal about those events. After a short period of time I began to realize that I had been given a gift of writing, one in which I had not become aware of until that very moment.

I began to write of love and the wisdom I had gained from life experiences. I came to realize that what I was putting on paper, or typing, was beyond my years. It was then, and only then, when I realized that I had something to give, something to share. It has now become my purpose to share with any and all who will listen the importance of love and acceptance for all, no matter what their personal beliefs are.

I had been bestowed a gift of sharing my life’s experiences with all who would listen as it relates to love and oneness. I feel the need to write about love, simply because it is the opposite of hate, something we have too much of today. I write of oneness simply because we have so much division in our daily lives portrayed upon us today.

Hate and division will completely destroy a nation, if not the whole world as we know it. I simply do not understand why we must take sides with every action that is placed before us by our people and our governments. I know in my heart that any division created within a country makes the people of that country more reliant on the government, or those that rule the nation.

I think we have all heard the phrase” a divided country we will fall and united we will stand”. I am of the belief that all people as a whole are starting to see the truth that lies before them, we all come from the same place, the same people. If we were to look at it from a biblical standpoint, we ALL came from Adam and Eve.

I am not stating that I simply subscribe to Christianity as a whole, but I do subscribe to Humanity, and loving-kindness. If we could only open our eyes just a little wider and understand that all religious beliefs are derived from the same principle of nothing other than love. In the end, they all teach love, unity, oneness and kindness.

As a human race, non-secular, we can succeed in moving past our differences, and move towards a more unified body as a whole. This can be very hard to conceive when we rely on TV and social media as our only outlet for news. The media will give to you what they want you to believe, it has been proven time and time again. Social media has been able to tap into your likes and dislikes and continue to place in front of you that which you subscribe to and allows for no other opinion other than that which you believe.

I will quote something I heard today, “That which you focus on will be your life”. In other words, if you continue to focus on lack and need, you will always lack and need. If you continue to focus on division, you will always be divided, seeing only black and white, so to speak. There is no need to create animosity or differences among people of different backgrounds or religions or opinions for that matter, we should simply seek the similarities that we all have. We all, and this is an assumption, seek to live a happy, peaceful, and rewarding life.

This in and of itself can take up an entire page, so I will keep this limited. It all depends on our definitions of happy, peaceful and rewarding life. I do know that we can all agree on basic principles of living which include living in a peaceful environment, happy without seeing others in pain or suffering, and rewarding in knowing that we are giving back to humanity in some fashion. Happy, well that depends on what each one of us defines as “Happy”. I can say that when I can experience all of the above then I am happy.

I am of the belief that we can all achieve this by seeking the similarities we have instead of the differences. I go back to that which we focus on, when we seek nothing but differences, we will always see them. When we look for similarities in humankind, we will always see them. All it takes is to open our eyes a little bit wider to see that we all have a common goal; to live in peace and happiness.

I will end by saying that I cannot name a single person who seeks happiness by living in a divided land full of war and poverty, it simply cannot exist. I cannot name a person who seeks peace by living in a divided land, it simply cannot exist.

When we ultimately think that we are better than another human being, we are not seeking peace, we are seeking control. When we think that money will buy all the happiness we can stand, ask those who are genuinely happy without it. May we find that it all exists within the simplicity of our daily lives. That is, in my limited personal experience, where ultimate peace from within lies.

Namaste~ my friends

The Amazing Mind

I sit today and wonder at how our minds and subconscious try and tell us things about ourselves that need to be addressed. My particular mind has been on overtime as of late and decided to take a rest yesterday. Funny thing, it happens about 2 days before a full moon. What I have found is that it ONLY happens when I am more in tune, more awake, more aware, and overall consciously living.

In my opinion the mind is connected to a conscious universe that will put in place that which we think into it. As a direct result the mind can also tell us things that we need to know, and some we don’t. These can be sometimes hard to see or recognize and can come in many forms. This is where being awake enough to recognize it and do something about it comes into play. First it must be considered if it really does have some significant value. We, dare I say, ALWAYS, have two choices…to discard it, or to recognize it and address it. If we find that is has value then, and only then can we address it.

I know I may seem a bit vague here, but these things really come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, thoughts, people, dreams, deja vu moments. As far as addressing whatever it may be, that is solely up to us if we want to continue to grow. Many of the things placed before us are for that very reason, growth. It may be mental, physical, or spiritual. I might add that growth is not always a pleasant thing. In fact, in most cases, there is some pain associated with it, hence the phrase “growing pains”. Our minds, subconsciously and otherwise, try to get us to see certain things it feels it needs to continue to evolve.

We rarely remain in a constant state, other than the constant state of flux. I am of the opinion that our minds really do feed the soul. The soul could be considered as the ultimate recipient of the growth involved. I always say the only constant in life is that of change.

Copyright 2019

Humanness

Those of us who are on some semblance of a spiritual path in the attempt to find either meaning, purpose, or simply to be open to the lessons from the mistakes along the way, these are my thoughts on humanness, or more accurately described, those things we do and think that go against what we feel we should be thinking.

Fact of the matter is that in our desperate attempts at the above, we will always fall short, be less than perfect. It is here that lies our humanness. I would define it as thinking or speaking anything other than what we feel we should be. It is in accepting this part of our brains that venture outside the realms in which we think we should exist.

It is also in this acceptance where we must have compassion for ourselves in thinking, acting, and sometimes reacting to lifes little lessons and tests that come our way. The most important thing we can do is have an awareness when these do occur. The awareness gives us the opportunity to address it, change it, and do it better next time.

Spending the time beating ourselves up over what ultimately are the trivialities of life is futile. Nothing is learned here. TBC…

Copyright 2019

Change

Could not fall back to sleep this morning. So I decided to do some writing instead. As of late I am undergoing an internal process of change, one that has become painful. Funny how we seem to think that we have completely dealt with our own issues from the past. I am in no way saying that I need to live in it, however, to be completely free of any “baggage” that has remained, it must be acknowledged, addressed, and dealt with.

The word change is an oxymoron. Change by the very definition is a transformation or transition from one state, condition, or phase to another: the change of seasons. Yet change is the only thing that remains constant. It is one of the very few reliable constants we experience every day of our lives. Literally, everything will change, whether we like it or not. Most will try to control the change that occurs so it is always to our liking and specifications. Which is the ego running our lives. This will always lead to unhappiness and discontent, feeling unfulfilled with our lives.

I am not one of those people who can just let life pass me by without trying to be the best person I can be, or should I say at least trying to be better than I was the day before. Being that, to me, means simply being authentic and genuine. It is during these times when I feel most at peace with myself and everyone around me. As I stated in an earlier post it seems to me that I wax and wane from time to time. I think its human nature to do so. I also believe that its the Universes way of keeping us in check. After all, it will continue to place in front of you that which you have yet to learn, and will continue to do so until you do. We always seem to wonder why we continue to recreate experiences from the past…this is why. It will continue until we finally get it, and make a conscious choice to learn from it, and grow into our true selves.

With this process I think it must be said that there is and has to be a great amount of acceptance for those in our lives. I mean accepting all people for exactly where they are. This is not directed towards anyone in particular, but simply accepting everyone and how they choose to live and experience life. With this comes acceptance of our own selves and our humanness first and foremost. How can we accept another if we cannot accept ourselves? I am one who can be particularly hard on myself, which didn’t just happen over night. I too must accept myself exactly where I am, and trust in the Universe to guide me wherever it sees fit. I must allow, and I stress the word allow, this to happen, instead of forcing life. Life becomes so much more difficult, unfulfilling, and frustrating when we constantly force things, especially as it relates to our own personal growth.

I do not necessarily believe in spending my entire life to find, or define my lifes purpose. I do think however that we are guided to do certain things to contribute to the well being of not only ourselves, but humanity as a whole. We simply have to open our eyes enough and be willing to take on the challenge. Yes there are those who have a “calling” so to speak, but I do feel that has to eventually change to some degree as we never stay exactly the same. We are constantly growing and evolving, and with our experiences comes change. If we choose to close the doors placed before us, we then become stagnant in our ever evolving growth process. Those who choose this way of life, in my opinion, will always be unhappy and unfulfilled. Seeking a better life, happier life, doing the same thing they have always done without growing and learning will always produce the same results. This would be the Universe, yet again, continuing to place in front of you that which you have yet to learn.

Copyright 2019

A look back…

I was recently asked to look back at my life over the last few years. Something I don’t particularly like to do, but need to do none the less. Upon reflection of this it became somewhat painful, almost in a way of reliving whatever it was that I was talking about.

I have come to understand why this may be necessary to do from time to time. Not in a way of visiting it just to tell a story, but in a way of learning more about myself, as well as what did I learn from it? In this particular case pain is a necessary part of our human growth and evolution. We must know and recognize the pain in order to know and recognize joy, and inner peace.

Copyright 2019

If I knew I was going to die soon, what would I do? How would I feel? How would I live?

I’ve pondered this since learning of people in my life who have been given a very finite time in which they will live. It came flooding in as I was laying in bed last night.

Morbid topic, I know, but I think it must be considered when we have a choice to really live. Truth is we don’t know when we will cease to exist on this human earthly plane. It could be 5 minutes, 6 days, or 7 years. So why is it that people choose not to live life fully? Fully present? Fully aware? Fully awake? Why do we as humans choose anything less? I think it stems from fear.

I think many have a fear of the unknown, fear of letting go, a genuine fear of not being able to control what comes in and out of our lives, despite our most valiant attempts. We must control our lives so that we can control the outcome. Ha! Such bullshit! Are we that egotistical to actually think we can control everything?

It has been in my limited personal experience that life, living, gives back what we put into it. So…back to the original question, what would I do? I guess that would all depend on what I perceive would bring me inner peace and happiness. If I believe that I am the soul creator of my own inner peace, happiness, and real joy, then I know there is no external force, thing, experience, or activity that could possibly takes its place. On the contrary, if I sought happiness from others, from people, from experiences then I would have to say that I would be totally wreckless in seeking that which I thought would bring me happiness. Which of course is only temporary. I would do it selfishly, for my own gain.

I am grateful to not be that way at all. So…what would I do? I would make sure to show those around me unconditional love. I would teach any and all willing to listen what it really means to live and love without limits. We are all teachers and students at various points in our lives. Old age, in my opinion, does not qualify a person to be a teacher, for they may still have much to learn. Experiences don’t necessarily qualify a person either. Wisdom does come from experiences, life, mistakes, being human…but wisdom in which to teach, to share, comes from learning from all those things put before us in our lives. All placed before each and every one of us to make us better people, kinder people, more compassionate people, more loving people. If we could all just open our eyes wide enough to see the lessons in everything.

Imagine if a very selfish person who was filled with hate, division, and negativity actually got a taste of what it feels like to live a life of bliss and a life of joy. Whether or not they actually do some work and allow it is irrelevant at this point. But what if they could get a glimpse of it, feel it for just a day? Imagine the impact this could have on their life. I think this begs to ask, how can we take someone from their own personal hell, to a life of bliss? The simple answer, one moment at a time. Being absolutely present in it, being fully present in our interactions. Treating that moment and each one thereafter as if it was your last.

Why is it that something so simple can be so complex? Many are busy trying to control the outcomes of there lives. Shaping and molding it so that the ending fits the one living in their head. Yes our lives are malleable to a certain extent. And yes I believe we can attract more positive in our lives with right motive, right thought, and right action. But we must give up the illusion that we are in total control in our lives. Living this way will always create fear and anxiety, and ultimately disappointment. When we have these expectations of how our lives should be, we will always be disappointed and let down. Nothing will ever be enough.

We as humans tend to live our lives with the age old question, whats next? Truth be known there is no whats next. This only exists in our minds, going from one thing to the next without much thought, without slowing down enough to actually be present in that which we are doing this very moment. Back to why is this so complex? Our minds/egos use activities to fulfill what it perceives to be happiness. The sad reality of this is that it is only temporary. Then once the mind becomes bored and no longer fulfilled, its on to the next thing on its agenda. All of this is but a mere illusion the mind plays on us in order to create the outcome of our lives. To create yet another illusion of living and being successful.

In my opinion the success of our lives is in our day to day, moment to moment thoughts, actions, and interactions. The idea of “the american dream” has been created to imprison each and every one of us to work and slave ourselves to death so that we can attain the american dream. When we fall prey to this we create our own prison. We have sentenced ourselves to working our lives away just to keep all the things that make up the american dream. Something most of us were taught as children. You need to have this to be successful in life. So as a result, success, happiness, and joy were instilled in us very early on as a comparison to everyone else, or as we were told how it should be. In case you haven’t figured this out, this is all again just an illusion. Our happiness, success, and joy should never be compared with another, nor established by another.

In the end, to quote a Tim McGraw song, we should all “live like we were dying”. This is in no way an excuse for bad or harmful behavior, but simply as way to be, a way to live. It is the only way in which to grow, to love, to be kind, and compassionate towards others. And ultimately live with no judgment, and most importantly, live a life free of fear. So forgive yourself for your past mistakes, learn from them. They were all placed there by design to help us become better human beings. Forget the future, that’s where the fear lies. There is no future, all we really have is right now.

Copyright 2019

Service as a means of Love

When most think of the word service, one of the first things that comes to mind is laborious. When we serve our fellow man or our loved ones, it does not have to be labor intensive. When we serve others from a place of Love, of Kindness, it no longer becomes like work. What some fail to realize is that when we serve others, the rewards we get are so much greater. Not monetarily, but it rewards the heart. One of the most rewarding feelings there is, is to give and serve without others knowing. In my opinion, this fills the heart more than anything else and from a Universal standpoint, it will, and it must return to the giver, more often than not 10 fold, even 100 fold. This has been my personal experience. Asking our Loved ones, what can I do for you? Sends a message of genuine and sincere caring, and selflessness. Since I am human I must also remember that people use words as well as actions to express this. And we must remember that although it may not be reciprocated the same exact way, its sincerity should not be questioned. Basically…having an expectation. If we choose to live a life without expectations, we will never be let down or disappointed. Our humanness and our egos will ultimately always try to set them, and when we become aware of this, we continue to evolve to a place of consciousness, being present in the moment.

Copyright 2019

Evolving

I think and believe that we all evolve at different rates. I do think that this evolution from fear to Love, from unconsciousness to consciousness is in direct proportion to our experiences that precedes both. I do find it interesting that we wax and wane, we go back to revisit the old, for whatever that reason. I think that’s where our minds, our ego likes to step in and try to run the show. I do believe that it does take somewhat of a seeking nature for truth and understanding.

Copyright 2019

True Love and what it means to me

The following is derived from reflection upon the loss of a loved one. It is in no way intended as a comparison to any past or future relationships.

If someone has had to pleasure and gift of such an experience there is no doubt what it is that one feels. When one is asking another of what is true love, it also tells me that they are seeking it from an external source. Many many people go for many years seeking such Love externally. This kind of seeking love will never be fulfilling. It will never be real, never true, never pure. Only superficial.

Reflecting back in time in late 2013, I recall Tara(now deceased) and I talking. We were talking about love. Our love for not only ourselves but for one another. This conversation did not last just a few mins or even a few hours. We spent an entire weekend talking of this love, this love we had found, or it found Us. Our one desire and one wish was that we wanted everyone to be able to experience this. That this was a must for all to have at least once in their lifetime. We always said we collided at the same time, on the same spot in our spiritual journey. In my opinion, there is but only one way for Love to even be possible. That is by allowing. It can only be said in hind site, that I was actually allowing a teacher into my life, to teach me how to Love.

By allowing what is to be, to just be. We would always say, there is no pushing, no pulling, only allowing. We quickly knew that the Universe was bringing us together for something much larger than either one of us could begin to understand. But how it got to that point, was by allowing. We were both in a place where we were allowing life to come in and not force anything to be as we think it should be. But as it saw fit. It is an amazing feeling to not force life to operate on our timetables. Which is, of course, the ego-driven life.  We were free of the ego driven life. We had allowed the universe to take its course to bring us together, to experience this uncharted territory. It would forever alter who I am as a man. I think allowing things to be takes a great amount of acceptance. We must accept it, whatever it is. It cannot always be seen as bad but as a necessary part of the furthering of the spiritual journey within.

Our discussion on Love would take many twists and turns throughout the course of the weekend. I will state at this point, that none of our discussions were short. We always had so much to say. It felt so very important to both of us that we share these things, anything. We did know that is was first and foremost a true love of self. One must have an absolute Love of self in order to allow for Love to step into our lives. This Love of self is not the conceited love of self, but the pure acceptance of who we are as spiritual beings living a human existence. Love comes from within, that where it all starts. How can we expect to love another and not love ourselves first? Doing so without the love of self first is seeking it from external sources. Externally equals temporary and unfulfilled. I think it fair to state that in order to be true to oneself, that one should not seek an unhealthy relationship for the sake of companionship. Herein lies our humanness. Our human need for touch and a warm body nearby. Ultimately when love really fills our heart, there is no need for this. As human beings, we all do ultimately have a genuine need for touch, so it is not to say that that we don’t need it. It’s just to say, do not fulfill this genuine need for touch with something that’s unhealthy, or not good for you.

Those external sources will fill a variety of roles for that person. It fills a perceived void in their lives, where one thinks that they are not complete without another. This turns into an unhealthy relationship. When one requires another for “completeness”, it becomes somewhat codependent. When we have Love from within, we do not need another person to make us whole. We are already whole. External sources will also rid one of fear, the fear of being alone. The kicker here is that when we come from a place of love in our everyday lives, we are Love, we are not alone. Fill the heart with Love, and fear will subside if not completely disappear.

In order to experience love, we also came to the conclusion that one must live in it. If we as people have hatred for others, there is no way to feel this kind of love. It just is not possible. We must have a love for all beings, big and small. This, of course, includes nature. Living in love is, and can be expressed in our everyday lives. With those we interact with, the people we meet on the street. This does not mean to go up to everyone and say “I love you”, but feel it in your heart. They too have the ability to love beyond limits. It is vital to treat all with love. This helps to eradicate any feelings of dislike or hatred, and I also believe division. Which brings me to the next part,  unity; the opposite of division.

Living a life of divisiveness cannot lead to love. If we are whole as people, why would we think of ourselves as divided from another, think that we are better than another? We all come from the same place, we are all one. Our world today is filled with division, we just don’t always see it. We take whole races and religious sects and think of them as different. Or think that they are wrong. No one is wrong, no one is right for that matter. We just are. This topic itself could be discussed in much greater detail, but that would detract from the original intention. I witness division every day. The beauty of this is that I am aware that it is division, I do not, however, have to take part in it. So to ask the question, how can you have a love for all, but hate something? it cannot exist together. Anything less is not love.

I think that Love cannot be discussed without gratitude. To be truly grateful for all we are, for what we have, for who we are. I was so grateful that she was a part of my life. That we could share our lives with each other. It was not a requirement that they be in it. Just to share in it. To accentuate that which we already had. A very beautiful place to be in. I was truly humbled and grateful to be in her presence. I was grateful for each and every moment we spent talking, laughing, or just in silence. It was as if we didn’t have to say anything, we just knew.

One of the hardest things to do is to work on oneself to be the healthiest they can be before entering into a love based relationship. And I stress love-based relationship as opposed to lust based. We as humans have become impatient, we want it now. Patience is required here. I say this in the context of those things mentioned earlier, allowing, accepting, unity(non-divisiveness), gratitude and now patience. Patience is vastly underrated and cannot be overstated. We must be patient with ourselves to allow for the universe to work in its time. We as humans think we can control outcomes or situations or even decide who is best for us by limiting who is allowed to love us. We limit with educational requirements, income, material possessions, skin color, religious affiliations. All of which are a form of division and ultimately come from a place of fear. Again fill the heart with love, and love will find you. It is the simple law of attraction. We can’t completely get rid of the ego, but we can limit its control over our thoughts and ultimately actions. Think about it for a moment, an argument with someone is the ego defending its position on something, usually division. The ego does not want to be wrong, it must be right and always in fear and defense mode. Let it go and fear will leave you. Fill it with Love, and love will find you. We are all energetic and vibrational beings. The laws of physics even state that you will be found. And the law of attraction makes it so.

The beauty of true love is that it has no boundaries. It is limitless and infinite. I learned a long time ago,  that if you have to ask yourself whether or not someone loves you, then they don’t. Love cannot contain itself. This sounds harsh, but it is true. Love will express itself in the sweetest of subtle ways. If we are not looking we would clearly miss them. The point is to have one’s eyes wide open, and the heart even wider. Since we are all one, we all have the ability to love without limits. There are those who choose differently, and for those, my hope is one day the light comes shining in. In the end, there is no one thought, one word, or even many words that describe true love. It cannot be described, therefore, true love is simply indescribable. You will know it when there are no words to accurately describe how you feel about someone. I know this because I have tried. I still cannot explain it.

Copyright 2019